Like it or not, she's one of the most important people in your spouse's life, so do what it takes to get her on your side.
Step 1: Be respectful to her child Be respectful to your spouse. Never, ever criticize, mock, nag, or otherwise abuse them in front of her.
TIP: If you really want to score points, thank her earnestly and often for raising such a special person.
Step 2: Ask her advice Ask her for advice occasionally. It doesn't have to be stuff of tremendous importance; seek her counsel now and then on matters of less consequence to you.
Step 3: Request her recipes Request her recipes for your spouse's favorite foods. Even better, ask if you can watch her make them.
TIP: Assure her that you'll never be able to make her recipes as well as she does!
Step 4: Add special touches Do little things to make her feel special, like serving her favorite dessert when she visits or occasionally buying her a little gift just because it was something you thought she might like.
Step 5: Flatter her Flatter her. The most effective way to do it is by passing on a sincere second-hand compliment, such as, "So-and-so always says she wishes she had a mother-in-law like you." She'll bask in the glow of people speaking positively about her and love you for telling her.
Step 6: Let them spend time together Give her time alone with your spouse. It's the best present you can give any mom.
FACT: Research shows that people begin to get along better with their mothers-in-law as they approach their late thirties, and their relationships continue to improve into their 40s and 50s.