How to Call in "Sick"

What's the point of having sick days if you never use them? Everyone needs a little me-time every once in a while. And if you're caught, just say you really were sick of work.

You will need

  • A good but simple excuse
  • A phone
  • And a plan for the day

Step 1 Pick a day Decide what day you want off. Try to pick a day where you’ll get out of something unpleasant.

Step 2 Decide what to do Think about how to spend your day off. Forget going to a tanning or beauty salon. If you show up the next day with a tan or a perm, you’ll be busted.

Step 3 Decide on malady Decide on a reasonable malady, and keep it simple. ‘I’ve got a bug’ is easier to remember than a long, involved tale of exotic food poisoning. And remember: you’ll have to be ‘better’ in 24 hours.

Step 4 Rehearse your story Rehearse what you will say when you call in. Repeat your story until you’re satisfied you have struck the right mix of fact and fiction.

Step 5 Call before office hours Make the call before office hours so you get your supervisor’s voicemail, which can’t talk back or ask probing questions.

Step 6 Prepare to return After spending a glorious day doing whatever you like, prepare to return to work. Rehearse your response to inquiries about your health and other questions that might catch you off guard.

Step 7 Find out what you missed Once you’re back, make a show of finding out everything that happened the day before, so you can catch up on whatever work you missed. You’re so dedicated!