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How to Green Your Sex Life

Sure, your love is like a red, red rose—but how green is your romance? Be an eco-friendly dater.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Find eco-soulmate Find someone who shares your eco sensibilities. Check online green dating sites.
  • Step 2: Wear organic fabric Prepare for the best by wearing organic cotton or hemp underwear.
  • Step 3: Get local flowers Offer a hand picked bouquet of local flowers from your own yard or the farmer’s market. Don’t be tempted by the florist’s exotic Icelandic poppies—unless you live in Iceland.
  • Step 4: Cook with local ingredients Cooking dinner? Try a menu using local ingredients in season. Get ideas at a farmer’s market.
  • TIP: Even if you’re not cooking, a piece of fresh local fruit in season will show you care.
  • Step 5: Walk or bike Walk or bike to a rendezvous spot with a lovely natural setting. There are few greater turn-ons to a true greenie than a beautiful sunset view.
  • Step 6: Smell natural aphrodisiacs The scent combination scientifically proven to be most sexually stimulating to men is lavender and pumpkin pie—pumpkin, cinnamon, and clove. And for women? Licorice—or anise—and cucumber. Make an all-natural potpourri and let its aphrodisiac properties go to work.
  • Step 7: Dim the lights Dim the lights and burn soy candles to save energy—and enhance the ambiance.
  • TIP: Offer to give your love interest a massage with naturally fragrant organic herbal oil, but have an organic cotton towel on hand.
  • Step 8: Buy sheets to impress As your romance blossoms, steal away to the bedroom, where your silky, sustainable bamboo fiber sheets are sure to impress.
  • Step 9: Turn down the heat Reduce your carbon footprint by turning down the thermostat as you turn up the heat.
  • Step 10: Use a condom Use a latex condom. Although whether they’re biodegradable remains a topic of debate, they’re much less toxic than polyurethane-based condoms and safer than lambskin. If you’re a vegan, find ones that aren’t made with milk protein.
  • TIP: Don’t flush that condom—it can actually end up in the ocean.
  • Step 11: Use eco-friendly sex toys Don’t lose your head in bed: use a petroleum-free, all-natural lubricant; toys made from silicone, glass, metal, or Lucite instead of soft plastic; and solar-powered vibrators (yes, they exist).
  • Step 12: Shower together If you need to take a shower after your romp, hop in together to save water.
  • FACT: Green dating is a growing trend. Green Drinks, a monthly get-together for eco-minded folk, now meets in more than 250 cities worldwide.

You Will Need

  • Some organic hemp or cotton underwear
  • Local flowers
  • Local
  • preferably organic food in season
  • A spot to experience natural beauty
  • Soy candles
  • Silky bamboo sheets
  • Latex condoms
  • Environmentally friendly lube
  • toys
  • or vibrators
  • Organic herbal massage oil (optional) (optional)
  • An organic cotton towel (optional) (optional)

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