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How to Spot a Player

Avoid getting ambushed by the ruthless player. Here's how to identify the traits of this predatory species.


  • Step 1: Beware of the stare Beware of a guy who stares at you for too long. It’s a sign of aggression and usually means you’re his next conquest.
  • Step 2: Assess his style Assess a guy’s style for clues. Super-grooming signals he’s probably more into himself than you.
  • Step 3: Pay attention to body language Pay attention to his body language. If he leans in close to you right away he is staking out his territory.
  • TIP: A player will bore a hole in you with his eyes while talking, then look away when you respond - a good sign he’s not really listening.
  • Step 4: Distrust immediate intimacy Distrust the guy who showers you with compliments or falls for you too quickly. Players use charm and flattery as a way to move in quickly.
  • Step 5: Look for an ever-present cell phone Look for an ever-present cell phone in the hand of the player. If he guards his cell phone like a pit bull and doesn’t let you use it, he’s probably a player.
  • TIP: The sophisticated player will acknowledge that he has many female "friends" who often call.
  • Step 6: Be suspicious of unreliability Be suspicious if the player always calls late, doesn’t show up, and constantly offers lame excuses. Look out for a guy who’s always busy.
  • Step 7: Beware of jealousy Beware of someone who’s extremely jealous and possessive, especially early in the relationship. If they don’t trust you, it usually means they can’t be trusted themselves.
  • FACT: Did you know? Fifty-five percent of the impression we get from a person is formed through body language.

You Will Need

  • Observational skills
  • Immunity to empty flattery
  • Healthy suspicion

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