How to Kiss like Angelina Jolie

A look at the technique that launched a thousand broken relationships.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Get collagen Get collagen lip injections—unless bee-stung lips come naturally to you.
  • TIP: Collagen too pricey? Buy one of the many lip plumpers available at the cosmetic counter.
  • Step 2: Find an inappropriate partner Find an inappropriate partner—someone’s husband, your brother, or, if you’re supposedly heterosexual, a woman.
  • Step 3: Hang on Hang on to your partner in a proprietary way during the kiss, as a warning to other women.
  • Step 4: Keep lips closed Keep your lips closed, unless you’re in a serious relationship—you know, like one that involves wearing your partner’s blood in a vial around your neck. In that case, go for tongue.
  • Step 5: Flash a sexy smile When the kiss ends, flash your lover a sexy smile that promises better things to come.
  • FACT: Angelina Jolie has been quoted as saying that Brad Pitt is 'a great kisser.'

You Will Need

  • Full
  • pillowy lips
  • No sense of boundaries

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