- Step 1: Get collagen Get collagen lip injections—unless bee-stung lips come naturally to you.
- TIP: Collagen too pricey? Buy one of the many lip plumpers available at the cosmetic counter.
- Step 2: Find an inappropriate partner Find an inappropriate partner—someone’s husband, your brother, or, if you’re supposedly heterosexual, a woman.
- Step 3: Hang on Hang on to your partner in a proprietary way during the kiss, as a warning to other women.
- Step 4: Keep lips closed Keep your lips closed, unless you’re in a serious relationship—you know, like one that involves wearing your partner’s blood in a vial around your neck. In that case, go for tongue.
- Step 5: Flash a sexy smile When the kiss ends, flash your lover a sexy smile that promises better things to come.
- FACT: Angelina Jolie has been quoted as saying that Brad Pitt is 'a great kisser.'
You Will Need
- pillowy lips
- No sense of boundaries