Spit out that wine spritzer and throw away your stemware. It's time to put some hair on your chest, hoss.
: Don't drink unless you're of legal age. Drink responsibly, and never drink and drive.
Step 1: Pick a dive bar Choose a no-frills bar. It shouldn't have no velvet ropes and it shouldn't smell too good. Heck, it shouldn't even have no windows. You're there to drink, not to admire the scenery.
Step 2: Order something brown Belly up to the bar and order something brown. Beer, whiskey, scotch, bourbon, and rye are what real men drink. For a little variety, try a macho cocktail, like a dirty martini, but for Pete's sake, make sure it don't involve fruit juice.
TIP: Never, ever order a drink that's named after a sexual innuendo. Men got no business pounding back a "sex on the beach" or a "slippery nipple."
Step 3: Order it strong A man's drink should sting a little going down. Order your liquor straight up – no ice, served at room temperature. Stay away from light beer and, if you're getting a cocktail, tell the bartender to make it strong.
Step 4: Know your stuff Know your stuff. Learn the difference between blended scotch and single malt, and always ask for a specific brand of liquor.
TIP: If, heaven forbid, your drink comes garnished with a fruit peel or an umbrella, flick it away like the trifle it is.
Step 5: Knock it back Grip your glass or beer bottle firmly and knock it back. When you've finished, slam it down on the bar with authority and order another.
Step 6: Settle on a drink Keep drinking until you find the drink that suits you best. There ain't nothin' manlier than telling the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
FACT: Frank Sinatra, one of the manliest men of all time, once said, "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."