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How to Express Your Feelings

Lots of people suffer from an inability to express their true feelings, which can affect relationships and self-confidence. Here are simple ways to overcome this problem.


  • Step 1: Organize your thoughts Take time to organize your thoughts before telling them to someone else. You need to understand what you're feeling before you express it.
  • TIP: Write down your thoughts in a notebook; it will help you sort out what is important.
  • Step 2: Don't wait until you're fed up Talk out your feelings before you become too fed up with the issue. Excess anger will make it difficult to explain yourself.
  • Step 3: Be specific Be specific. Refer to specific issues or events that have bothered you, and when and where they took place. A general statement won't be productive.
  • Step 4: Describe the feeling Describe what you felt when the event occurred.
  • TIP: Don't simply say that you're "angry" or "upset," but use as much detail as you can. This will help the other person better understand the issue.
  • Step 5: Avoid blaming the other person Avoid blaming the other person. You don’t want them to become defensive. Talk about your reaction rather than about their mistake.
  • FACT: Morris Albert's 1975 song "Feelings" made it to no. 6 on Billboard's Top 100.

You Will Need

  • Friend or loved one
  • Honesty
  • Notebook (optional)

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