How to Not Be a Soccer Mom

Just because you're chauffeuring the kids all over creation doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your cool factor.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Avoid bumper stickers Avoid bumper stickers. Other moms show so much signage, their SUVs look like they’ve got NASCAR sponsorship. You, on the other hand, don’t need a sticker to show the world you’re proud of your kid.
  • Step 2: Toughen up your media Make your MP3 and DVD collection into a punk rock primer. Ban the Wiggles from your car, and teach your kids about the joys of the Clash, the Ramones, and Black Flag.
  • TIP: High-energy music is an excellent way to psych your kids up for the big game.
  • Step 3: Don't wear the uniform You don’t have to wear the soccer mom uniform to fit in. Keep scrunchies, Keds, and 'mom jeans' far away from your closet. You can be just as comfortable in a mix of tailored jeans, cute blouses, fitted blazers, and comfortable, stylish flats or boots.
  • Step 4: Play soccer Soccer moms watch from the sidelines, but cool moms bring their cleats and join in the game.
  • TIP: Some leagues offer coed and multigenerational teams so that parents and kids can play together.
  • Step 5: Make routine into a game Since parents of active kids keep a hectic schedule, it’s easy to get into a soccer mom rut. Keep things fresh by incorporating fun, original games into your routine, like the get-ready-for-practice Olympics or 'making up songs about homework.'
  • Step 6: Tailgate Don’t wait until you get home to have dinner. Bring a hibachi and some side dishes, and turn the soccer game into an excuse to tailgate.
  • Step 7: Work from the road Conduct high-powered business dealings on the go! Turn your driver’s seat into a portable workstation by setting up a wireless network in your car. Videoconference, email, and close that big sale all while you keep an eye on the game.
  • FACT: A multi-generational soccer league in Washington State features a daughter, mother, and grandmother who all play together on the same team.

You Will Need

  • SUV add-ons
  • A selection of MP3s and DVDs
  • A fashionable wardrobe
  • Athletic skill
  • Creativity
  • A portable grill

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