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How to Put the Romance Back into Your Relationship

Things gotten a little ho-hum at home? Get the hubba-hubba back with these tips.


  • Step 1: Do something fun, scary, or challenging Share activities that will make your hearts pound with excitement or make you laugh out loud. People find each other more physically attractive when their adrenaline is pumping.
  • Step 2: Save the bedroom for sex Make your bedroom a place for sex, sleep, and nothing else. Clear the room of mood killers and make it a TV, computer, and personal-digital-assistant free zone. Don't eat in bed, unless it's chocolate body paint!
  • TIP: If you have a king-size bed, consider downsizing: The lack of physical closeness can create emotional distance as well.
  • Step 3: Work on your self-esteem Do things that make you feel good about yourself, and encourage your partner to do the same. Researchers have found a correlation between high self-esteem and couples who have managed to keep the romance alive after many years together.
  • Step 4: Have a hands-on relationship Kiss and touch each other frequently, check in with each other during the day, and make time for sex. A study found that touchy-feely couples who had sex two or three times a week and called and texted each other often during the day reported more satisfying and more romantic relationships.
  • TIP: Orgasms cause our brain to produce oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel more attached and loving to the person we're with.
  • Step 5: Talk without distractions Make time to talk to each other without any distractions, like kids or the TV.
  • Step 6: Do the small stuff Don't wait for a special occasion to give them a card, buy their favorite candy, or take them to dinner. When it comes to long-term romance, it really is the small stuff that counts.
  • FACT: In one study, when couples who'd been together for 20 years and new lovers had their brains scanned as they looked at a photo of their partner, 10 percent of the long-term couples showed the same brain chemistry as new lovers.

You Will Need

  • Exhilarating experiences
  • A sex-oriented bedroom
  • High self-esteem
  • Physical affection
  • Regular sex
  • Uninterrupted conversation
  • Loving gestures
  • Queen-size bed (optional)
  • Orgasms (optional)

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