How to Find out a Girl's Name after You've Slept with Her

You’ve just had sex with someone and now you can’t remember her name for the life of you. Don’t ya hate when that happens?

Instructions

  • Step 1: Pay attention Pay attention to how she addresses you. There is a chance that she may have forgotten your name, too, and if so, relish your good fortune because two wrongs do make a right.
  • Step 2: Get her out of the room No such luck? Try to get her out of the room so you can sneak a peek inside her wallet. A good ploy is to make a big show of wanting to brush away your morning breath, so she’ll feel obliged to do the same.
  • TIP: Don’t get caught! Forgetting her name is one thing, but being caught rummaging through her purse marks you with a creepiness usually reserved for sexual offenders and guys who still live with their mothers.
  • Step 3: Ask her to call Dammit! She’s taken her purse into the bathroom. Time for Plan B. Pretend you can’t find your phone and ask her to call you; God willing, her name will appear on your caller ID.
  • Step 4: Ask for her number Oh, for God’s sake—your phone rang just as she was about to call. Don’t panic. Proceed to Plan C: tell her she’s so special that you want her to program her numbers into your cell phone right now.
  • TIP: Hover over her—kissing the back of her neck is a nice touch—so you can see the name as she programs it in.
  • Step 5: Get her address Jesus H. Christ! She programmed her number under her initials! Tell her you need her address because you want to send her something special. As visions of floral bouquets dance in her head, ask her how she spells her first and last name.
  • Step 6: Dodge her blows Dodge her blows as she screams, 'J-A-N-E, YOU ASSWIPE,' and dismisses your protests that 'Jane' could be spelled any number of odd ways.
  • FACT: 51 percent of men and 46 percent of women responding to a Playboy poll said they’d had sex within six hours of meeting someone.

You Will Need

  • Acting skills
  • Body protection gear

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