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How to Drop Off the Grid

Got a case of the Mondays? Why not blow off the cubicle life and try dropping out of society?

Instructions

  • Step 1: Quit your job If urgency is not a factor, try having a private conversation with your boss well in advance about your general displeasure and desire to be a part of the next round of layoffs. Hello, severance check!
  • Step 2: Discard your possessions Discard all your worldly possessions except cash. Empty your bank account. In practice, carry as little cash as possible, but find several safe places to store your stockpile. Scatter these spots around so that even if one reserve is discovered, you still have others.
  • Step 3: Abandon your car Abandon your car. It might be a good idea to leave the engine running in a community that you have faith will waste no time in making it disappear for good. But be careful—you’ll still have to leave a potentially dangerous area on foot!
  • Step 4: Find a new home Find a new habitat. The wilderness is an option, but is not recommended for entry-level drifters. You may want to try squatting in an abandoned space such as a warehouse, former home, commercial space, school, tunnel, or cave.
  • TIP: Know the law. Squatting is a crime in many jurisdictions and may get you arrested. However, in some places it isn’t against the law, and squatters may even be able to become legal owners of their adopted homes through an eventual process known as 'adverse possession.'
  • Step 5: Destroy your demons Kill off your inner demons. Discarding your old life and rebuilding a new one means scraping off some of the old baggage that brought you here in the first place. Addicted to cigarettes? Painkillers? Gourmet coffee? If you’ve decided to drop off the grid, you can’t afford these vices anyway. Get rid of them.
  • Step 6: Get a job Find off-the-map employment. Farm work is possible if you can find a situation where live-ins are permitted. This type of work is usually below minimum wage. Many small towns don't have day-labor programs, but if you’re marginally groomed, try knocking on doors & asking the townsfolk if they have outside chores you can do in exchange for lunch.
  • Step 7: Keep moving Move on—to wherever the wind may blow you. It won’t be easy. Life will be a daily struggle. But hey, at least you’re not sitting bored out of your mind in some box.
  • FACT: Thanks to the United States subprime mortgage crisis, there are currently more vacant homes in the U.S. than ever in history, totaling over 2 million. Out west, nearly 7% of all homes are vacant! Happy squatting!

You Will Need

  • A soul-crushing job
  • Worldly possessions
  • Persistence

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