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How to Turn a Presidential Debate into a Drinking Game

Presidential debates are riddled with clichés. Keep the democratic process interesting, and use the political farce as an opportunity to get faced.

Instructions

  • : Call for a chug Don't drink unless you're of legal age. Drink responsibly, and never drink and drive.
  • Step 1: Gather your group Assemble a decent-sized group of friends and a whole lot of booze. Give everyone a drink, have them pick the name of a candidate out of a hat, and turn on the debate.
  • Step 2: Drink for political niceties Any empty rhetoric deserves one drink, starting with political niceties. Drink every time your candidate thanks an audience member, moderator, host, political system, mentor, or state.
  • Step 3: Drink for jargon Take a drink each time your candidate uses jargon or one of their catchphrases -- or states the obvious like it's a revelation.
  • Step 4: Drink for folksiness Drink at any sign of folksy behavior from your candidate, including accent shifts, use of down-home phrases, or mentions of "small-town roots."
  • Step 5: Drink for the "average citizen" Drink each time your candidate refers to an "average citizen" they've met in the course of campaigning.
  • Step 6: Drink for poor timing Have a drink if your candidate's response goes over time, and have another for every 30 seconds after that.
  • Step 7: Drink twice when it gets personal Drink twice every time your candidate makes a passive-aggressive slur or mentions a scandal. An outright character assassination means it's time for a "social."
  • TIP: Drink twice when it gets personal A "social" means the whole room takes a drink.
  • Step 8: Drink twice for an audience reaction Drink twice every time an audience member creates a disturbance by heckling or booing your candidate.
  • Step 9: Drink three times for Nazi comparisons Drink three times if your candidate utters the word Nazi or Hitler. Drink four if they’re used in comparison to an opponent.
  • Step 10: Call for a chug If anyone in your group actually feels inspired by a candidate’s answer at any point during the debate, everyone must chug.
  • FACT: Drinking parties can be traced back to the ancient Greeks, whose booze-fests were called symposia.

You Will Need

  • Friends who are 21 or older
  • Beer
  • The candidates' names in a hat
  • A televised presidential debate
  • Understanding neighbors

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