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How to Craft the Perfect Insult

At the receiving end of verbal abuse? Don't just sit back and take it! Learn how to dish it out.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Find a point of weakness Find a point of weakness in your victim. Look for imperfections that can be easily targeted with an insult. If you know the victim, consider focusing on features of their personality that can be exploited.
  • Step 2: Make your insult the punch line Just like a joke, a demeaning insult depends on timing. Start with a short setup that piques their interest. When you've got their attention, finish with a witty punch line.
  • Step 3: Use sarcasm Use sarcasm to push their buttons. Say the opposite of what you mean but speak in a slow, exaggerated manner, like when talking to a child. People love it when you do that.
  • TIP: Using too much sarcasm can imply a lack of wit, so use it sparingly.
  • Step 4: Use your body language Keep cool, calm, and collected while you dole out a verbal lashing. Appearing stressed, nervous, or angry undermines your power.
  • Step 5: Insult in deed Don't rely on words alone; insult your foe with your actions. Exclude them from group activities, carelessly defile things that are important to them, and use dismissive behavior like forgetting their name or the fact that you've met before.
  • Step 6: Use these elements in concert Practice mixing and matching various techniques to find an insult style that suits you. Now when someone crosses you, you'll be ready to put them in their place.
  • FACT: One study found that people in social situations stare at the victim of an insult four times longer if they think the victim heard the insult than if they think they didn't hear it.

You Will Need

  • Observational skills
  • Timing
  • Wit

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