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How to Fill Awkward Silences with Your Doctor

The most uncomfortable part of going to the doctor isn't the cold stethoscope or the drafty gown -- it’s the stilted conversation with your MD. Here’s the prescription for a socially painless checkup.

Instructions

  • : While this video is awesome, it didn't go to medical school. Always consult your doctor for actual medical advice.
  • Step 1: Make small talk Make small talk. Stick to easy topics like the weather or your local sports team. If possible, bring up things that you might have in common, like the fact that you both have advanced degrees.
  • Step 2: Ask questions Why should you do all the talking? Ask them general questions, like "How do you like being a doctor?" "Who are the people in those photos?" and "Is that painting an original?"
  • TIP: Avoid asking questions that are too personal.
  • Step 3: Make jokes Alleviate any tension with some good-natured jokes. A little medical-based humor could be just what the doctor ordered.
  • TIP: When conventional jokes don’t do the trick, try some prop comedy. A doctor’s office is a treasure trove of hilarious comedy props.
  • Step 4: Surprise your doctor Take advantage of the inevitable question about whether you are sexually active by planning a special surprise for your doctor. Nothing like a perfectly executed sight gag to liven up a boring checkup.
  • Step 5: Understand that some silences are OK Understand that some awkward silences are OK. Talking during some procedures will only make things worse.
  • TIP: Never, under any circumstances, whisper anything to your doctor, especially while your genitals are exposed.
  • Step 6: Tickle your doctor When all else fails, give your doctor a good old-fashioned tickling. He may have all the vaccines in the world, but he’s not immune to a full-blown case of the giggles.
  • FACT: According to one study, patients spend an average of 21 minutes with a doctor per visit. That’s a lot of awkwardness.

You Will Need

  • Social skills
  • Sense of humor
  • Props (optional)

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