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How to Survive a Zombie Attack

Army of zombies on the loose? Check out these simple steps to help you survive an encounter with the undead.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Know your enemy Make sure you're facing an attack from actual zombies. Look for a stiff gait caused by rigor mortis, open wounds from decomposing flesh, and a hunger for human flesh.
  • Step 2: Cover up Cover up to prevent potential zombie bites from turning you into one of them. Wear a mask with holes only for the eyes and mouth, long sleeves, gloves, close-toe shoes, and long pants tucked into your socks. You may look like a fashion victim, but you won't be a zombie victim.
  • Step 3: Amass weapons Find a weapon to use in case you encounter a zombie. Grab a blunt object capable of bashing in undead heads or something to pierce the zombies' skulls -- even reanimated corpses can't survive severe brain injuries.
  • TIP: Don't try to reason with zombies -- their brain functions are limited to walking, moaning, and feasting on the living.
  • Step 4: Head indoors Find a secure place to hide. Make sure it's located as far as possible from any graveyards and stocked with canned goods, bottled water, and projectile-firing weapons. Barricade the doors and windows to ensure your survival.
  • Step 5: Fight back Hide out long enough to overcome your fear; then, attack back! Use human-scented objects to lure the zombies to low-lying areas; once they're contained, blast their brains from afar. Continue trapping and killing until all the zombies are dead, and it's eerily quiet enough for you to hear your still-beating heart.
  • FACT: A traditional zombie cocktail is made with sugar, fruit juice, and 4 kinds of rum.

You Will Need

  • Appropriate clothing
  • Weapons
  • Secure location
  • Canned goods and bottled water
  • Human-scented objects
  • Lack of mercy

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