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How to Be Friends with Benefits

Need a little loving? That's what friends are for.


  • Step 1: Pick a partner Choose a partner who shares your desire for sex that's completely devoid of emotion. Consider an acquaintance who isn't part of your inner circle to avoid awkward moments among mutual friends.
  • Step 2: Get grounded Set ground rules at the outset to help maintain consistent expectations for the friends with benefits relationship, such as how and when to get in touch with each other and whether sleepovers are acceptable.
  • TIP: Don't ask about other people they're seeing, and don't talk about other people you're seeing.
  • Step 3: Don't be date-y Avoid activities and situations that befit a serious relationship. Don't indulge in romantic meals, introduce your FWB to your family, or make them your plus-1 to social events.
  • Step 4: Enjoy yourself Have fun having sex. Take advantage of the friendly setting and the fact that you're not emotionally invested to try out new sexual positions and explore fantasies.
  • TIP: No matter how well you know your friend -- even if you're having sex with an ex -- always use protection.
  • Step 5: Know thyself Developing real feelings? Don't worry: it's totally natural for repeated physical contact to lead to emotional intimacy, even in a friends with benefits scenario. Discuss your feelings and be willing to walk away if you're not on the same page -- you went into this as friends, so you might as well leave as friends, too.
  • FACT: In a study of young adults, over twice as many males as females reported that their last partner was casual.

You Will Need

  • Partner
  • Desire for casual sex
  • Lack of emotion
  • Ground rules
  • Self-knowledge
  • Protection

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