How to Be Your Own Drill Sergeant

Order yourself to get healthy or face the consequences, maggot!

You will need

  • Willpower
  • Long-term goal with benchmarks
  • Motivational tool
  • Mirror
  • Battle cry (optional)

Step 1 Show yourself who's boss Develop authority over yourself — drill sergeants establish theirs early and decisively. Completely cut one unhealthy habit from your lifestyle right away to prove you can rise to a challenge without crying to your mama.

Step 2 Fall in line Embrace discipline, the cornerstone of any drill sergeant’s approach to subordinates. Set an overall goal for getting healthy and come up with challenging but achievable fitness and diet benchmarks, which you can post around your base camp and reference daily.

Step 3 Learn to focus Pick a motivational tool, whether it’s a mantra, a visual stimulus, or the possibility of a painful consequence if you fail to achieve your goals. Refer to it frequently.

Step 4 Get competitive Test your limits. Designate speed and distance objectives, and push yourself to beat them during every workout. Consistently set new targets to avoid becoming just another disgusting excuse for a pile of puke.

Step 5 Stay sharp Focus on accuracy. No drill sergeant ever let someone get away with sloppy form! Exercise in front of a mirror — you don’t want to look like a lazy sack when you make yourself drop and give you 20.

Step 6 Change as necessary Adapt to changing conditions. Drill sergeants train recruits for a wide variety of combat situations. Exercise at home or outside if you can’t get to the gym and stick to a healthy diet, no matter what. Make no excuses and do not accept failure. Oorah!