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How to Get Closure

Getting closure is a way of tying up loose ends in a relationship that has changed. Take your first steps on the road to recovery.


  • Step 1: Recognize and accept change Recognize that the situation has changed and accept it.
  • TIP: Write a letter to the other person in the relationship. Say everything you want to, whether you mean it or not, and then tear up the letter and throw it away or burn it.
  • Step 2: Consider how the change has affected you Come to grips with the way the change has affected your life. Without ignoring your feelings of loss, look for ways to make your life better.
  • Step 3: Learn from the experience Learn from the experience. Make plans for future relationships based on what you learned from the one that just ended.
  • Step 4: Have a ceremony Hold a private ceremony to put the old relationship to rest. Do something symbolic with something that represents the relationship to you, like destroying a picture, and then move on.
  • Step 5: Find a replacement Find something or someone to fill the void produced by the ended relationship. Once you're comfortable, get back out there.
  • FACT: "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do," by Neil Sedaka, soared to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 on August 11, 1962.

You Will Need

  • Recognition
  • Acceptance
  • Learning
  • Ceremony
  • Replacement
  • Letter (optional)

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