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How to Test Your Relationship

No relationship is perfect. There's always room for improvement, but you can find out just how much room by honestly examining your relationship.


  • Step 1: Consider your sex life Consider your sex life. Do you and your partner have sex often enough for both of you? Is it mutually satisfying? Do you find sex with your partner boring? It's an important part of a relationship. If either of you is dissatisfied, there may be trouble in the relationship.
  • TIP: While it can be awkward and uncomfortable to discuss openly, someone has to take the first step.
  • Step 2: Think about communication Think about how well you communicate with your partner. Do you listen when your partner speaks? Does your partner listen to you? Does either of you have difficulty opening up to the other? If your relationship suffers from a lack of communication, you will never feel strongly connected to your partner.
  • Step 3: Think about trust Think about trust issues in your relationship. Are you and your partner completely honest with each other? Are you jealous of attention your partner gets from others? If you're checking your partner's browser history, e-mail account, or phone and text messages, you need to determine why you're insecure and openly discuss it with your partner.
  • Step 4: Respect each other Respect each other. Respect is crucial to a healthy relationship. Do you allow each other to maintain your dignity when you fight, or do you become cruel and hurtful? The degree of respect and esteem you demonstrate to one another can indicate a healthy relationship -- or a dying one.
  • Step 5: Have fun together Consider the amount of fun you have together. Do you go out together or separately? Do you enjoy the same activities? Can you spend time together and laugh with each other or do you have nothing to talk about? If there's no fun in the relationship, think about why you're still in it.
  • TIP: It's normal to have separate friends you like to spend time with, but it's healthy to include one another in group activities, too.
  • Step 6: Get along Consider how much you have in common. Do you get along well as friends? Do you bore each other? Is one of you embarrassed or ashamed of the other? If you don't get along with each other, its time to start thinking about why you're together.
  • Step 7: Consider your options Consider what you get out of your relationship and how it makes you feel. If you have only a few problems, your relationship is worth working at and fighting for. But if you can't see happiness in the future of your relationship, take steps toward doing what makes you happy.
  • FACT: Research has found that young married couples are more satisfied with their sex lives than their single counterparts are.

You Will Need

  • Sex
  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Respect
  • Friendship
  • Common interests
  • Options

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