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How to Give Notice That You Want a Divorce

If you're faced with the task of telling your spouse you want a divorce, these tips will make the process easier for both of you.


  • Step 1: Plan for their reaction Plan for your spouse's reaction to the news and prepare yourself for angry outbursts, abject silence, or even crying.
  • Step 2: Count on a lengthy discussion Count on a lengthy discussion. Choose a time and place to talk void of distractions such as children or the phone.
  • TIP: Choose a public place if you fear violence or a dangerous emotional outburst.
  • Step 3: Write out what to say Write out what you want to say to be as clear as possible. This will also give you a chance to work out some frustrations, instead of blowing up when you talk to them.
  • TIP: Avoid critiquing them or pointing out their faults as a husband, father, wife, or mother.
  • Step 4: Encourage them to talk Encourage your spouse to talk. The more they can vent, the quicker they will be ready to talk about a reasonable conclusion.
  • Step 5: Be civil and diplomatic Be civil and diplomatic. Express to your spouse that you're both in this together, that you will get through this together, and be apathetic to their needs.
  • Step 6: Avoid placing blame Avoid placing blame or reliving history. Simply agree things are not working and move on.
  • Step 7: End the discussion End the discussion once both sides have had a say. Don't discuss the details of alimony or child custody until you've both had a chance to rest and become less emotional.
  • FACT: Divorce was deemed illegal in France from 1816 to 1884.

You Will Need

  • Careful planning
  • Calm tone
  • Civil demeanor
  • Public place (optional)

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