How to Give Notice That You Want a Divorce

If you're faced with the task of telling your spouse you want a divorce, these tips will make the process easier for both of you.

You will need

  • Careful planning
  • Calm tone
  • Civil demeanor
  • Public place (optional)

Step 1 Plan for their reaction Plan for your spouse’s reaction to the news and prepare yourself for angry outbursts, abject silence, or even crying.

Step 2 Count on a lengthy discussion Count on a lengthy discussion. Choose a time and place to talk void of distractions such as children or the phone.

Step 3 Write out what to say Write out what you want to say to be as clear as possible. This will also give you a chance to work out some frustrations, instead of blowing up when you talk to them.

Step 4 Encourage them to talk Encourage your spouse to talk. The more they can vent, the quicker they will be ready to talk about a reasonable conclusion.

Step 5 Be civil and diplomatic Be civil and diplomatic. Express to your spouse that you’re both in this together, that you will get through this together, and be apathetic to their needs.

Step 6 Avoid placing blame Avoid placing blame or reliving history. Simply agree things are not working and move on.

Step 7 End the discussion End the discussion once both sides have had a say. Don’t discuss the details of alimony or child custody until you’ve both had a chance to rest and become less emotional.