- Step 1: Pay attention Pay more attention to your partner than you do to your hobbies or the TV. Marriage is not a part-time job -- you can't achieve happiness in your marriage until you're present and participating.
- Step 2: Change the outlook Change the way both of you act and experience the marriage instead of always trying to recapture some fleeting memory of your early relationship, using the same old ineffective methods.
- Step 3: Be there Give credence to your spouse's judgment, tastes, interests, and opinions, so they know they matter and have worth. Be their strongest supporter, buddy, fan, and soul mate.
- Step 4: Manage finances Manage your financial security. Face debt and money problems together by creating a plan that will help you get your financial situation under contrl. Relationships are hard enough to sustain without the friction monthly bills can introduce.
- Step 5: Take a hard look When you encounter hardships, realize that marriage isn't always easy. Try not to beat yourself up or blame your partner.
- TIP: Predictability can be monotonous. Don't resist the idea that marriages are up and down, and are therefore always interesting works in progress.
- Step 6: Shut up Speak up to solve problems, but limit bickering by not picking a fight every time your partner does something you don't like. Silence, or taking a few moments to think before you speak, can help you avoid unnecessary conflict. Fix what you can change -- which is most often your own behavior.
- Step 7: Pursue your own things Allow yourself and your spouse space to pursue your own interests. Couples don't need to be joined at the hip. Observing that absence makes the heart grow fonder may add some years to the marriage.
- FACT: University of Chicago researchers found that the health of married people who became single again through circumstance or choice declined, precipitating 20 percent more chronic health issues.
You Will Need
- New outlook
- Sound finances