- Step 1: Be aware Be aware of the situations that leave you feeling a need for more space, self-respect, or personal power. These are the ones that require you to set boundaries.
- Step 2: Set firm boundaries Set personal boundaries on what you will accept in a relationship. Articulate those boundaries in a a polite but firm manner, using simple and direct language.
- TIP: For example, when confronted by someone who is insulting or attacking you, tell them that their attack is unacceptable and if it persists you will leave the room.
- Step 3: Own your feelings Do not feel obligated to justify your feelings in personal relationships, or to pretend like they don't exist. Remember that your feelings are your own, and you do not need to feel defensive about them.
- Step 4: Keep your boundaries intact Don't give in to attempts on the part of others to break down your boundaries. If you allow people to cross a line with you, they will continue to ignore your needs.
- TIP: For example, if someone presses you for a quick decision about an important matter, and you're not ready to decide, tell them you need more time.
- Step 5: Don't let others push your button Think carefully about inflammatory statements that other people make before responding. Don't let people push you around by trying to push your buttons.
- FACT: As early as the 8th century BCE, the Biblical city of Jericho was protected by a wall.
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