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How to Get Your Ex Back

After your former boyfriend or girlfriend is gone, you realize that they're the one you want to be with forever. Here's how to win back your ex's affection.


  • Step 1: Review the breakup Review the reasons you broke up to assess if you should truly attempt to reunite with your ex. If they were abusive, don't even think about it. If cheating was involved, make sure you're truly over it. Remind yourself of their faults and don't look back too fondly.
  • TIP: Run your assessment by a trusted friend, who'll only want the best for you, and listen when you get the advice you've asked for.
  • Step 2: Call them Call your ex. Find out if they are totally closed off to reuniting with you, or if they seem to be open, at least to meeting for coffee.
  • Step 3: Do lunch Do lunch or coffee, not drinks or dinner. Keeping your meeting during daylight hours and alcohol-free will take away any temptation to jump back into bed too quickly. Having a clear head means you can decide if getting back together is actually a good idea.
  • Step 4: Look your best Look your best. Hit the gym and update your wardrobe, if necessary. If you look great, you'll feel great, and your ex will feel it too!
  • Step 5: Show them what they're missing Show them what they're missing. Exude self-confidence -- if you've used the time you were apart wisely and worked on bettering yourself, your ex just might rue the day you broke up.
  • TIP: Don't beg to be taken back or be a willing doormat. It will just make you look desperate.
  • Step 6: Pull out the stops If you feel like they're on the fence, pull out all the stops. Take them somewhere romantic, write a heartfelt love letter, or show up at their place wearing a trench coat and nothing else. If they reject you, move on. At least you know you tried!
  • FACT: In "The Great Male Survey of 2010" conducted by AskMen, 41 percent of the men surveyed were entirely comfortable with a partner "friending" their exes on Facebook.

You Will Need

  • Assessment of the breakup
  • Their phone number
  • Lunch date
  • Self-confidence
  • Good grooming
  • Grand gesture
  • Trusted friend (optional)

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