Updated:
Original:

How to Have an Affair

Looking for a little action on the side? We're not saying it's a good idea, but if you want to cheat, here's how to get away with it.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Choose someone stable Choose someone stable to have an affair with -- someone who won't go all Fatal Attraction on you if you decide to break things off. Consider hooking up with someone who is also in a relationship; that way, they'll have as much to lose as you if you're caught.
  • TIP: Consider an online dating site for married people looking to hook up with each other.
  • Step 2: Don't tell anyone Don’t tell anyone you're having an affair. Even your most trusted confidante may spill the beans to someone, who may tell someone else, and so on.
  • Step 3: Develop a routine Establish a regular time when you see your lover. A new routine will arouse less suspicion than if you’re suddenly disappearing at all hours of the day and night.
  • Step 4: Clean up discreetly Clean up discreetly after your rendezvous. Yes, it's dangerous to go home smelling like someone else. But it will seem really odd if you arrive home from an alleged late night at work with wet hair.
  • Step 5: Continue having sex at home Continue to have sex with your partner at your normal frequency and in the usual manner. Suddenly avoiding sex at home or introducing new techniques may raise a red flag.
  • Step 6: Don't confuse lust with love Don't confuse lust with love. Remind yourself that a major part of an affair's attraction is the novelty, which eventually will wear off.
  • FACT: 14 percent of French men and 7 percent of French women do not consider a one-night stand infidelity, according to a poll.

You Will Need

  • Stable partner
  • Secrecy
  • A routine
  • Discretion
  • Normal sex life
  • Level-headedness

Popular Categories