- Step 1: Put away iPod Put away that iPod. Stick it in your pocket until you’re somewhere safe.
- Step 2: Put wallet in front pocket If you carry a wallet, don’t keep it in your back pocket. Instead, put it in a front pocket. Better still, keep money in your socks.
- Step 3: Wear stained shirt Instead of a pink polo, try a white T-shirt—with stains.
- TIP: If you must wear expensive clothes, consider buying a cheap jacket at a thrift store. Once you’re at your destination you can throw it away.
- Step 4: Don't act like tourist Stop staring up at buildings like a tourist. Try to seem familiar with your environment. Periodically yell, 'Benny! Where you at!'
- Step 5: Adopt angry glare Adopt an angry glare.
- TIP: If you’re having trouble looking mad, imagine you just bought a used T.V. But when you got home and plugged it in, it was broke.
- Step 6: Project confidence While maintaining your angry glare, do your best to project confidence. Like dogs, muggers can smell fear. Pretend that you’re a judo master, or that you have retractable adamantium claws.
- FACT: Because of its tiny number of residents, Vatican City has the highest per capita crime rate of any country in the world.
You Will Need
- Worn clothing
- Angry glare