Cave Johnson: Congratulations. The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science. As founder and CEO of Aperture Science I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests. We're not going to release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there will always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Caroline.
Caroline: Goodbye, Caroline.
Cave Johnson: She is a gem. Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science. You might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 senate hearings on missing astronauts. And, you've most likely used one of the many products we invented, but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt...
Caroline: Sir, the testing.
Cave Johnson: Right. Now you might be asking yourself "Cave? Just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phonebook of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?" Let me answer those questions with a question. Who want's to make $60? Cash. You can also feel free to relax for up to twenty minutes in the waiting room. Which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you. So, welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best. And you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face. Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything, unless it's test related.
GLaDOS: Oh, hi. Say, you're good at murder. Could you, ow! Murder this bird for me? Oh, thanks.
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him. I can't move, and unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse. So, what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Ow! you stabbed me. What is wrong with? Woah! Do you have a multi-meter? Never mind. The gun must be my magnesium. It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me. I'm going to do some scheming. Here I go.
Whoa. Where are we? How long have I been out?
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going...