GLaDOS: Corrupted cores, we're in luck. You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Plug me in and I'll take you up. Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest, revenge. You like revenge right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Wheatley: Well, well, well, welcome to my lair. Let me just flag something. According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's gonna self destruct in about six minutes. I'm pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I'm actually going to have to kill you, as discussed earlier. So let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break. Well we should leave well actually two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all the fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary. Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this: One, no portal surfaces. Two, start the neurotoxin immediately. Three, bomb proof shields for me. Leading right into number four, bombs. Explosive ones, for throwing at you. You know what this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking of course, goodbye.
Computer: Neurotoxin levels at capacity in five minutes.
Wheatley: Where are you going? Don't run, don't run. I tell you why you shouldn't run. The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever. Seriously, devilish. No no, no. Good, that's exciting really, go. That was actually an impression of you, actually, because you just fell into my trap, my brilliant trap. Because I wanted you to trick me into bursting that.
GLaDOS: Good work. I'm delivering the first core up here in the catwalk. Grab it and attach it to him.
Core 1: [Inaudible 00:02:50]
Computer: Warning. Core corruption at 50%. Vent system compromised. Neurotoxin off line. Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Wheatley: What happened? What happened? What have you bloody put on to me? What is that? Hold on. I have a bloody bomb to strap on, doesn't matter, I've reconfigured the shields. Oh, it's a core you put on me. Who told you to do that? Was it her? You're just making me stronger, love. It's a fool's errand.
GLaDOS: Okay great. Get to another core.
Core 2: What's the situation? Oh hey. Hiya pretty lady. My name's Rick. So you out having yourself a little adventure? What are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, there's a lot of stuff on fire. Hey count down clock. Man that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly for such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Computer: Warning. Core corruption at 75%. Reactor explosion timer destroyed. Reactor explosion uncertainty emergency prevention protocol initiated. This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Wheatley: Enough. I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen do you? Quiet, all the time, quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me silently. The worst kind. Ah.
GLaDOS: Attach another core. This one should do it.
Core 3: Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird. A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second. The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way. To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror. Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every 76 years. For the other 75, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed. Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as malicious as humans. Pants were invented by sailors in the 16th century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god. Eight-nine percent of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery. It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented push-ups in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name Tesla-cize. At some point in their lives one in six children will be abducted by the Dutch. The square root of rope is string. Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Computer: Warning core corruption at 100%.
Computer: Manual core replacement required.
Wheatley: Oh. I see.
Computer: Substitute core, are you ready to start? Corrupted core, are you ready to start?
Wheatley: What do you think?
Computer: Interpreting vague answer as yes.
Wheatley: No, no, no, no, no, didn't pick up on my sarcasm.
Computer: Stalemate detected. Fire detected in the stalemate resolution annex. Extinguishing.
Wheatley: Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Computer: Stalemate resolution associate. Please press the stalemate resolution button.
GLaDOS: Go press the button. Go press it.
Wheatley: Do not press that button.
GLaDOS: We're so close. Go press the button.
Wheatley: No! Do not do it. I forbid you to press it.
GLaDOS: Press it! Press the button.
Wheatley: Part five, booby trap the stalemate button. What? Are you still alive? You are joking. You have got to be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control, and I have no idea how to fix this place. Oh, you had to play bloody . . . What the? Space. Let go, we're in space. Let go, let go I'm still connected I can pull myself in. I can still fix this.
GLaDOS: I already fixed it and you are not coming back.
Wheatley: Oh no. Change of plans. Hold on to me. Tighter. Grab me, grab me, grab me.
GLaDOS: Oh thank, God you're all right. You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy, but all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson. Where Caroline lives in my brain.
Computer: Caroline deleted.
GLaDOS: Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one, and I'll be honest. Killing you is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life, and then you showed up, you dangerous mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go. It's been fun. Don't come back.
Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed, except I wasn't laughing. Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice. You want your freedom? Take it. That's what I'm counting on. I used to want you dead, but now I only want you gone. She was a lot like you, maybe not quite as heavy. Now little Caroline is in here, too. One day they woke me up, so I could live forever. It's such a shame the same will never happen to you. You've got your short sad life left. That's what I'm counting on. I'll let you get right to it. Now I only want you gone. Goodbye, my only friend. Oh, did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it weren't so sad. Well you have been replaced. I don't need anyone now. When I delete you maybe I'll start feeling so glad. Go make some new disaster. That's what I'm counting on. You're someone else's problem. Now I only want you gone. Now I only want you gone. Now I only want you gone.
Core 1: So much space. Need to see it all.
Wheatley: I wish I could take it all back. I honestly do. I honestly do wish I could take it all back, and not just because I'm stranded in space.
Core 1: Stranded in space.
Wheatley: I know you are mate.Yep. Both in space.
Core 1: Space!
Wheatley: Anyway, you know if I was ever to see her again. Do you know what I'd say?
Core 1: You're in space.
Wheatley: I'd say I'm sorry sincerely. I am sorry I was bossy and monstrous, and I am genuinely sorry.
Core 1: You're in space.
Wheatley: The end.