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Role of Parents in Wedding Planning

Learn the role of parents in wedding planning from celebrity wedding planner Barbara Esses in this Howcast video.


My name is Barbara Esses and I do events for a living. I'm Ruthie Hecht; I'm an event planner and I work with and for my mother. We're going to teach you the do's and don'ts for the perfect wedding.

When two people decide to get married today, it's not just a wedding of the two of them, it's a wedding of the families together. They have to go to heir parents and they have to discuss the wedding. There are many cases today where parents are happy to pay for the wedding and let the bride and groom make most of the decisions and there are many many families where they are not. Where the parents really feel that they are prerogative to make the wedding and to make most of the decisions. This is something that requires again a great deal of balance, it requires clear thinking and it requires everybody backing off a little bit and probably even making some compromises. I often advice the brides to pick their battles as I advice the parents to pick theirs. So that when you are going through this process, everybody is aware of what their responsibilities are and what things they need to take a step back and allow either the parents or the bride and the groom to make the decision on. We try very very hard to ask parents to let brides and grooms do the music, and make their own decisions about music, keeping in mind that there will be people that their parents and grandparents age at the wedding. We also try to ask parents to allow the bride and groom to pick the food and obviously the colors. Parents generally have the say on the finances unless the bride and groom are making their own wedding. So, everybody has to keep in mind that there is a budget and the bride and groom have to be aware of what the parents are comfortable to spend on the event. And if everyone can be somewhat objective and clear thinking then each person can put their opinion in and again a third person as the objective part of this event can make it a much more pleasurable experience.

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