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How to Incorporate 2 Families

Learn how to incorporate two families from celebrity wedding planner Barbara Esses in this Howcast video.


My name is Barbara Esses and I do events for a living. I'm Ruthie Hecht; I'm an event planner and I work with and for my mother. We're going to teach you the do's and don'ts for the perfect wedding.

When two young people or older people decide to get married it's the joining of two families, it's not just the marriage of the bride and the groom. There are people who like everything dynastic; there are people who are happy to do it at the last minute. There are people who like formal; there are people who don't like formal. So, there's always going to be some conflict from what each family wants.

If the bride and groom can have good communication skills with each other. If the bride makes a lot of overtures to be friendly with the groom's mother, as a rule, makes overtures to be friendly with the bride's family, then these things can be done in a more simple manner.

I do think, though, if it's getting out of hand that is something that a wedding consultant can be very, very helpful in. Because they can make it their business to understand where people are coming from. And when you understand where people are coming from you can explain it. And when you're in the midst of making an event like this, which is somewhat stressful, sometimes you don't see the forest for the trees. But an objective person from the outside can be extremely helpful in joining two families. So, at the end of the day when the wedding's over the two families remain really good friends. I always say that if make a wedding five years after they were married then everybody would understand each other and there wouldn't be any of the conflicts that take place when you're deciding to serve steak or chicken. But really and truly, these things can be avoided and an objective person is usually the best way to join two families if there are any difficulties whatsoever.

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