Hey guys. My name is Shallon and I'm here to help you with all the questions you might have about love, lust, romance, and everything in between. For more, visit me on twitter @downtownshallon or be sure to check out my website shallononline.com.
Getting dumped is the worst. I have way more experience in this category than I care to admit, but I've learned a few things along the way.
First and foremost, let yourself mourn the end of the relationship. There's nothing worse than when a guy dumps me and my friends are like, ""Whatever, you're over it.""
Oh am I, Dr. Phil? Thank you. Thank you for telling me how I feel.
Surround yourself with people who understand you're going through a hard time. And if there isn't anyone, iIt's okay to be alone. Shut yourself in your room for a weekend, cry, weep, eat, watch the movies, get it out of your system. But make sure it's just a finite amount of time; otherwise, the mourning period could last forever, and you don't want that. Life's too short.
Once that initial awful wrenching sadness is over, sit down and make a list. On one side, write down all the things you think about your exthat they're so charming, and funny and gorgeous, and this and that. Then have your friends over and have them correct some of those fantasies. No, your ex isn't charming; he's a serial cheater, flirting with other girls. No, she's not pretty; she looks like a skank. This will help you put things into perspective because a lot of times when you get dumped, it's not the ex you miss, it's all the possibilities. All the things you were going to do together. All the blanks that they were going to fill in in your life. And you can still have these things-just with someone new, and better, and hotter.
But here, ladies and gentlemen, is my golden rule of post-break up behavior. Do not contact your ex. Nouhh uhnoI don't care.I don't care if you have to give back the t-shirt. I don't care if you have something you have to do together, or something you desperately need to talk about, or something that reminded you of the other person. No. Cut it off. This is the only saving grace you're going to have. Because you might not have the person in your life any more, but it's important that you still have your pride, and that's going to be hard to come by if you're texting them, calling them, writing on their Facebook wall. Cut it off. This will help them think you've moved on, and maybe they'll want you back. But this will also help you move on. Seal the borders, so then you can begin to heal and truly get over this person, but you're never going to heal if you keep tearing open the wound by keeping contact. It's painful, but just like anything worth doing, it's worth it.