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How to Break Up with Someone

Learn how to break up with someone in this teen dating video from Howcast with expert Shallon Lester.


Hey guys. My name is Shallon and I'm here to help you with all the questions you might have about love, lust, romance, and everything in between. For more, visit me on twitter @downtownshallon or be sure to check out my website As awful as it is to get dumped, sometimes having to be the one to pull the trigger and break off a relationship isn't much better. Here are some tips to make it as painless for you and the other person as possible. The golden rule of breaking up is don't drag it out. Girls, if you have the "ick" for a guy - and I'm addressing only the girls because guys, you don't really get the physical ick, because, let's face it, you'll hook up with anything - girls, if you are like physically repulsed by your boyfriend, and usually it's a guy who is too nice, or he's kinda spineless, and just the thought of touching him makes you go "yecchh," you gotta end it. Because if you don't, if you stay in this relationship, you'll end up getting mean. And then you'll just hurt his feelings, then you'll feel guilty, and it'll be this whole nightmare saga. So if you know that you wanna break up with someone, do it soon. Sit them down, preferably in person, and be honest with them. Well, not too honest. If you have the ick for someone and you're physically grossed out, let's, shhh, let's not share that. It's mean. Try to be gentle, but also convey why the relationship is actually ending. If there's something that they've been doing that's ruinous to your romance, I think that they should know about it. I know that when I get dumped - it's happened before, yes - I would have appreciated knowing what it was I was doing wrong, because I would have stopped doing it. So if you say, "Hunter, you're really jealous and controlling, and I don't like that, and I can't be in a relationship that's like that, and I'm sorry, I think you're great but it doesn't work for me," he will at least have something to go on and take into his next relationship. But if you just say, "I don't want to date you anymore," he, or she, might get completely obsessed and it's gonna be really hard for them to move on, and if it's hard for them to move on, they might keep hassling you, and make it hard for you to move on. So, like I said, don't draw it out. Make the conversation short and sweet. And then, don't try to hang out right after that. Get the heck out of there. Make sure you're in a place where you can get in your car and leave. Also, don't try to be friends with the person right after the break up. They need a mourning period because remember, you were awesome, and now they're not dating you anymore. Let them mourn that. If they need to wear black, you understand. And last, but certainly not least, keep it private. When I was in middle school, I had a guy three-way call me with his best friend to break up with me, so that was fun. Clearly, it left an impression. Don't do it on Facebook, don't do it in full view of anybody else, do it someplace private. You never know how someone's gonna react. And if they fall apart, they don't want a bunch of witnesses. Would you? All in all, a little bit of respect, a little bit of compassion, and a little bit of honesty will go a really long way when it comes to breaking up with someone.

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