How to Handle Walking in on Your Parents Having Sex
You just witnessed something no one should ever see -- your parents going at it like rabbits. If you ever want to look them in the eye again, here's what to do.
Step 1: Choose flight over fight Run the other way as fast as you can. Terrifying images -- like seeing your parents having sex -- provoke the fight-or-flight response, and no good will come of you choosing the former.
Step 2: Get out of the house Make yourself scarce for the next several hours. Otherwise, you may be forced to endure an excruciating talk about what just happened.
Step 3: Time your return Time your return so you won't have to face both parents at once. One blushing, sheepish-looking parent is enough to handle.
TIP: Listen to music with headphones to discourage discourse.
Step 4: Act like nothing happened Act like nothing happened, and hope to God your parents follow your lead. If they start to say something -- anything --about having sex, put your fingers in your ears and scream "La, la, la, la, la!" until their lips stop moving.
TIP: Employ this childish maneuver no matter how old you are.
Step 5: Be grateful Now grow up a little, and be grateful your parents are still having sex. Not only does it indicate that they still love each other, it bodes well for you having the desire and stamina when you reach their age. And, next time, knock.
FACT: Seventy-three percent of men polled would rather have their parents walk in on them having sex than vice versa.