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How to Write an Effective Online Dating First Message

Learn how to write a first message on a dating site from dating coach Rachel DeAlto in this dating tips for guys Howcast video. Thumbnail: jin/Flickr


All right, so let's talk about the first message that you send on an online dating site to somebody you're interested in. You've seen their profile, you've read through it thoroughly, you've actually paid attention, you've looked through their pictures. You're going to try to pull something from that profile to make that connection. If you see that they have an interest that you have similar, you talk about that. Keep it very lighthearted and simple. It should be maybe three or four lines of "Hey, I noticed your profile. I think you're very attractive. I noticed we both love to cook. I'm taking this class nearby. Maybe one day we can take it together." Something that starts the conversation.

It shows that you actually paid attention to what they wrote. We've been talking about through other videos, I'm sure you've watched all of them. We care that you actually pay attention to us so let's pretend you do. If you do that and if there's a mutual attraction, then you're going to make that date. Keep it light, keep it simple, keep it fun.

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