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Causes of Delayed Ejaculation

Learn the causes of delayed ejaculation from sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in this Howcast video about the psychology of sex.

Transcript

So, I know that if you're looking at this video, you're probably feeling frustrated by either taking a really long time to have an orgasm or for some men, even with a lot of sexual stimulation, you just feel like you can't reach that point of inevitability, you actually can't ejaculate or have an orgasm with a partner. And so I'm here to express some of the reasons it can look that way. I think for many men it may have to do with medication side effects. Commonly, we associate antidepressants in particular the SSRI's with what we call Sexual Induced Dysfunction which typically can look like delayed ejaculation as well as decreased libido. So it's important to realize if this change is in timing with a medication, either increase or starting something new, that absolutely may explain this new symptom and you absolutely want to speak with your doctor to look at whether there are other treatments that would be available or whether they may be able to decrease that medication and add something else so that you're getting symptomatic relief without this unwanted or sort of less than desired side effect. I think for other men, sometimes delayed ejaculation can have to do with masturbation style. That, you know, if you're not ultimately using your hand and maybe preferring to rub up against a mattress or a pillow, that's what we consider idiosyncratic meaning the kind of stimulation that's bringing the orgasm is very difficult for a partner to duplicate. That also can happen when you're using porn and using a lot of physical stimulation, either speed or pressure. So, I often have clients experiment with using their non-dominant hand just to get a sense of more conscious of exactly what kind of stimulation they're using to see whether or not if they're feeling really frustrated and can't make it work with the non-dominant hand that maybe an additional factor. And lastly I want to include that for some men, first morning experiences are often not optimal and they're not fully awake enough and so they may not ejaculate. As well as if you just recently had a sexual experience with ejaculation because of what we call the refractory period, it's sometimes too soon to have another experience where you're going to be be able to be fully erect and ejaculate. Above all, regardless of the reason that you may be having delayed ejaculation, don't get sucked up into the frustration, because that in and of itself will hijack your arousal and the whole experience for you and your partner.

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