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6 Facts about Female Sex Drive

Learn about the female sex drive from sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in this Howcast video about the psychology of sex.


So, the thing you need to understand about the female sex drive is that, in general, it’s typically less than the male sex drive, because the principle driver of sexual libido or lustful feelings is testosterone. Women just naturally have less testosterone than men. That being said, if you’re in a new relationship, it’s called, like, the romantic cocktail, that adrenaline, that dopamine will shoot up anybody's drive; where you don’t even notice things like, not getting good sleep. So, just appreciate that for any given woman, her drive may be less than yours, but there will certainly be times during her cycle that she notices feeling more randy or horny, like around ovulation or some women, even when they get their period. Just noticing when your partner is feeling more responsive and turned on, helps you both think about how you can capitalize on those windows to increase the frequency of sex that feels really enjoyable to both of you. I think it’s also important to realize that, for women, there’s a range of their own appetite. We lean from, some that may feel, quite comparable to what we see in men, and to others on the other end of the distribution, where they barely think about sex. So, you have to realize that for your partner, sex isn’t on the brain, it isn’t on the radar. It doesn’t mean that it can’t get to that space, but it does mean that she does need some additional stimulation to sort of coax her, to get her to that place, what I call, open and receptive, because not all desire is born out of feeling it initially before a sexual experience starts. For some, it’s more, I’m open to where this is going to go and it’s actually your touch, and your caress that feels good, feels nice, and then lo and behold, she too is beginning to feel the desire and arousal to move it toward a more sexual experience. The important thing to realize is, even for any given woman, her love, love desire is likely to change over even the course of a month, and certainly over the course of her lifetime. So just try to get a sense of where her turn-ons are, and how do you both make the most opportunity of those windows where she’s open and receptive

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