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How to Initiate Sex

Learn how to initiate sex from sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in this Howcast video about the psychology of sex.

Transcript

How to initiate sex. Well, if that isn't the $10,000 or $1,000,000 question. Is this a new sexual partner, or is it someone you've been in a relationship with for a while? Generally, there's what I call "green light." You start to notice by their eye contact, their interest in conversation, their physical proximity, their body language, whether they're open, or whether or not they're sitting closed, or they're leaning forward. That is also giving you an indication of whether or not you can take it to the next step.

So although I know this about initiating sex, ultimately it's about initiating moving in and closer and gauging whether or not you're seeing if your partner's receptive. Because if you get a green light, where they're open, expressive, leaning in, then you can take it to the next step.

Just gauge and watch whether or not, again, you get another green light, in which case keep moving on. If you get a yellow or red, then you need to slow down or pause and stop. It doesn't mean, if you get a stop or yellow, that the whole experience is over. It just means they need more time.

You've got to slow things down to see whether or not, if you really focus just where you were, and again the connection and the sense of touching, whether or not you can get a green light. So that's what I would share with you.

Just focus on whether or not in body language, verbal and non-verbal communication, whether you're getting a green, a yellow or red light. Respond accordingly, and if you follow the greens, in time you'll be having sex.

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