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5 Tips If You Feel Pressured to Have Sex

Learn what to do if you are being pressured to have sex from sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in this Howcast video about the psychology of sex.

Transcript

So if you're watching this video, and you've been feeling pressured to have sex, the first thing I can say is that is a complete turnoff. And if you haven't already communicated that, that's the place to start. I don't know if this is a new partner or if this is a established relationship. But what I do know is anytime it feels like it's not about you, and it's only about their need, and it feels like it has to happen in a way that's not working for you. Then you really need to express how and why that doesn't work and is a turnoff. And also proactively, what could this person or partner do that would make you interested. So it's like giving them lines to say, I'd really like it if, or I really like it when. And give them some clues and tips to basically how you get turned on, if that's something you're interested in. But the thing I ultimately want you to come away with is, you should never under any circumstances be coerced into a sexual experience that's unwanted. That ultimately you only choose to have sex, whether it's an established relationship or a new relationship. If you're open and receptive to move further with that person, and also with the explicit understanding and agreement that if at any time during the experience it gets uncomfortable or physically painful, that you're gonna say stop. And that you both understand and appreciate that stop means stop and is not to be negotiated. The biggest thing I can tell you is clear communication, as well as, especially if you're interested, but just not now in this moment to have sex. Letting your partner know what would be a good time or the ways you'd be more receptive.

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