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How to Learn to Love Yourself

Learn how to love yourself from life coach Stephanie Florman in this Howcast video.


I'm always amazed that when I am coaching clients at the compassion, sincerity, or happiness that they are able to feel for other people's accomplishments, and yet how quick they are to judge themselves and be harsh on themselves for whatever it is that's going on in their life. Learning to love yourself, in my opinion, is treating yourself as good if not better than the way that you show up for everybody else in your life. It's so much easier to be loving, and caring, and compassionate towards other people. We usually do not extend ourselves the same courtesy.

Self love is a cycle. Certain days we will love ourselves more than others. Certain days it's easier to because of what's going on. If there is a day when we've had a huge triumph then, yes, sometimes it is easier to give ourselves a pat on the back. For other people those are difficult days, because no matter how good they did they still don't feel like they did it well enough. So, loving yourself is, to me, about being really gentle and kind with your own emotions, and not putting that pressure on yourself to be in love with yourself every single day.

With somebody who loves themselves too much or who comes across that way, the problem that we have with a person like that is it's almost like that narcissist. It goes back to it being all about them. A healthy relationship says I could be a whole person and I could love myself, and you could be a whole person and you can love you. Together, we could be in a relationship and connect.

A person who's so in love with themselves doesn't really have any room for anybody else to love them or to show up for them. One of the greatest gifts of a relationship is our ability to give and to show up and to love another person. You could love yourself, and I want you to love yourself up, but do not love yourself to the point of isolation where other people who want to love you can't connect.

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