How to Overcome Jealousy

Learn how to overcome jealousy from life coach Stephanie Florman in this Howcast video.

Transcript

Jealousy is an emotion and like all emotions, jealousy has a message. The message in jealousy is saying that you can have that too. Underneath that wanting is usually a fear of some kind of loss or some kind of betrayal. So the first step to anything is self-awareness so when you find yourself feeling jealous, you have to ask yourself who am I jealous of and why and you need to allow those answers to guide you to self-realization. Most of the time what we fear losing is out of our control anyway so it doesn't make sense to spend that energy thinking about the fear or the loss or the perceived betrayal. When you're in the relationship you need to think about it or measure the success of the relationship by how much you give and by how much you learn, not about holding onto the other person or wanting what the other person has. A relationship should really be an exchange; you bring yourself as a whole person, the other person brings themselves as a whole person and there is an exchange and both people are energized as a result. If another person is feeling jealous or acting jealous that's really information about that person and most likely they have a commitment to acting jealous because of unresolved issues that do stem back to loss and betrayal so all you can really do in a situation like that is to encourage them to get the help and the support that they need. You can't take it on as your responsibility because it's not and there is nothing that you can do to change it. If somebody that you're in a relationship with is jealous then they need to change it and they can't change it for you; they need to change for them because they don't like the way jealousy makes them feel or makes them act.

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