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How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Learn how to get out of your own way from life coach Stephanie Florman in this Howcast video.


I think the biggest thing to consider, that when we're getting in our way, it's a defense mechanism that's trying to protect us. You know, an example of that comes to mind is a client that I've worked with who was sexually abused. This client came to me hoping to reduce their weight and what would happen is, that every time she would begin to lose weight, she would get more attention from men and that attention from men would become very overwhelming and before we knew it, she would find herself bingeing, she would find herself no longer going to the gym and she would find herself, you know, on the metaphorical couch, saying Stephany, I don't understand, you know, every time I lose weight I gain it back. Now, to her it's about the weight. But the truth is, that's it's never really about what it's about. The truth is that the reason why she's getting in her own way is because of the deeper issue. The deeper issue being the pain of the sexual abuse and the fear that men will do to her what other men have done to her in the past. So, in a situation like that, it's about being compassionate towards yourself and understanding that when we are in our way, there's usually a reason why. You know, in that case, our defense mechanisms are most loyal companions, you know. They keep us stuck, so that we don't have to run the risk of putting ourselves in a situation that could lead to a hurt that we've already experienced. So, in a case like that, you want to get support. You want to find somebody that you can trust and somebody who's going to be able to help you see, you know, what the real issue is. Because, once you know that real issue, and once you start working on that issue, your life starts to transform and I can say, after working with that client and really dealing with her fear of men, not only is she in a wonderful relationship now, but her weight is at her goal weight.

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