The goal of any relationship is to enter it as an individual to maintain your individuality and to know that that your purpose is to contribute to the overall growth and success of that relationship. A relationship is actually 3 entities you know its 2 people and the relationship. But there is lot of confusion around relationship because a usually means to most people becoming one person and in that blazing is is a loss of self and loss of independence. Its really important that we stay true to who and what we are. The problem with maintaining independence is that sometimes they could put somebody else on the defensive. They feel like we are living them out of certain things so that they are not wants it in certain things and that could it be further from the truth. You know independence is all about keeping your promises to yourself, its knowing what you need to do to be a highly functional emotionally matured person. And that means doing your bells once a week or casually a girls branch or taking a dance class or taking a bubble bath or going to the bar you know with the guys to watch the game whatever the this stereotype allows for. Its about knowing that no matter who are in relation with you in with yourself and you can't betray yourself to make relationship work. No relationship should required you to sacrifice who you are as an individual for the overall strength of a relationship that's must sacrifice could only leads to dis-function in a relationship and its ultimate demise.