One of the most common things that you'll see in people when they're anxious is they bounce their legs up and down, right? So some people are just habitual bouncer. It's something that they commonly do. But as people tend to get more comfortable with each other, they'll slowly stop.
So one of the things that you'll see in an interaction is that for the first ten or 15 minutes, he might bounce his legs up and down. But as he becomes less anxious and as he becomes more comfortable with her, he's going to slow down. So what you're looking for is a deviation or a change in that behavior.
It's the same thing as in a presentation. Let's say that I was giving a presentation to these two. And all of a sudden one of them was bouncing their leg for the first 15 minutes. A goal of mine would be to get that bouncy leg behavior to stop. Because I know that once they're more engage or interested in what I have to say, it's less likely for them to commit those kind of behaviors.
So as we talk, you're talking back and forth. And then slowly, you'll see you're naturally a good communicator so you naturally orientating towards me. But you don't want it to be natural. If you we're disinterested in me you'd be pointing that way. Alright? You'll be faced that way. But as you get more and more interesting no matter what you do, no matter how hard your body just squares up with the person. So it's like "Oh really? du dud dud". So the example will be like you're talking and your here and it's like, "Oh, no. I kind of did the same. Yeah" And then slowly and slowly and slowly we're squared up. And that's the orientation we're looking for.
So if you walk up to a girl and the all of a sudden you're like "Hi". And she looks over at you and like " Hi, du du dud," you want to see a gradual change in orientation. You don't want it to be. It's not going to be sudden unless you say something surprising. So if all of sudden if, "So where you from?" "Texas." "Oh my god we just," then you see that kind of thing. But usually you don't see that. You see slight deviation. It's the best when you get a sharp one then it's easy. And it goes both way. So if all of a sudden she's deviating this way and things are going good, when she starts to deviate back, things are going bad.
A method for successfully guiding a conversation is to watch whether the person is oriented or disoriented. And what topics they orient and which topics the disorient towards.