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Why You Can't Learn Body Language from a Book

Learn why it's difficult to learn body language from a book in this Howcast video.


So I make the argument that you can't learn body language or you can't learn how to be an effective communicator from a book. And let me give you an example, so like, lets say um, there is a lot of good studies out there that'll say you know a head tilt is a good way of conveying an emotional connection. So when you're interested, so somebody tells you something about "oh wow that's really interesting, " that head tilt kind of demonstrates that. It's one of the things Bill Clinton tends to do a lot. It's one of the things um you'll see deaf people when they are communicating, when you say something, they're very, they pay a lot of attention. One of the coolest things, you ever meet someone in life that like every time you talk to them you feel like you're the only person in the room. They do three things. The first thing they do is tilt their head, the second thing they do is squint and the third thing they do nod their head successfully. So it looks like "oh wow really? No that makes sense". So you can read in a book, alright? You read in a book that you know, a nine degree head tilt to the right or a fifteen degree head tilt to the right is one of the most effective ways of you know, showing interest. Alright, let's say you read that. I said that to a group of fifteen doctors, neurologists, this and that in my office during a during a little like uh party essentially. And you know what they did? They went like this, some of them went like this. You don't know what you look like. That's the problem, it might be incongruent with what society looks like. So you might, you might "so if I tilt my head that's a good way to communicate." So when you tilt your head, you go like this and then it looks like perplexion. It doesn't look like, it looks like "what?" So that's why it's so hard to read something and apply it, it's not how it works. It needs to be seen, it needs to be a back and forth exchange of information. So you can't learn body language from a book.

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