Transcript

G: You know I found Paula in a dumpster, right?

Johnson: What? You said you met her at the supermarket!

G: I did. It was the bin out behind the Dime-a-Dozen.

Johnson: And you just picked her up out of the rubbish and brought her home?

G: Why no?

Johnson: Sometimes I think I hardly know you.

G: What was that?

Johnson: I don't know, but we've got company. As in "lots of"!

G: Well, if they pull up a chair, I would be happy to beat them with it.

Johnson: The Man Who Never Had His Fill.

That cheeky imp! He doused our goat!

G: Then let's put out some lights of our own.

Johnson: Would you kindly bust a cap in those motherfudgers before they douse the lights?

You know, we never finished talking about you kidnapping Paula.

G: I didn't kidnap her!

Johnson: You hauled her out of a skip! Isn't that illegal in some states? What did she say?

G: Nothing. Not for weeks. I was afraid to even touch her, you know? Like she didn't belong to me. To anyone.

Johnson: But something changed.

G: There was a phone call.

Johnson: Speaking of phones... Put that on hold, G. We've got company!

G: Fuck you.

Damn it.

Fuck you.

Johnson: Okay, now what's this about a phone call?

G: Me an Paula were eating when the phone rang. Suddenly, she slams her fork down and says, "Don't answer it!"

Johnson: Creepy.

G: First thing she ever said to me. But I got up to take the call. Johnson, you should have seen her. She jumped out of her chair, ran to the phone and ripped it right off the wall.

Johnson: Whoa.

G: Then she came and put her arms around me, and started crying. It was the craziest, weirdest, sexiest thing I have ever seen. I have been hers ever since.