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When Should You Have Sex with a New Guy?

Learn how long you should wait before having sex with a new guy from relationship expert Jonathon Aslay in this Howcast video about men and love.

Transcript

Let's face it, most relationships barely make it past the first day if not the third day, and often times there is this expectation that women are expected to have sex by the third date, okay?

So let's throw that rule out the window for a moment, and recognize that when it comes to understanding men, and understanding if he's serious about a relationship is, how does he approach dating with you?

Does he approach it with wanting to spend time with you, getting to know you, or is he looking to get you into bed quickly? Women need to recognize that the minute they have sex they release a chemical called oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a bonding chemical that bonds you to a guy, it can bond you to a guy you don't even like, but next thing you know you're hooked on the guy, you're craving the guy, and all of sudden you're strung out on a guy that you don't even want to be in a relationship with, but you can't help yourself. Chances are, it can take six weeks to two years to detox from oxytocin.

So when you're ready to have sex with the guy, just recognize that if this doesn't go anywhere, you could be strung out for a long time. Now I have what I call my 10-date rule. My 10-date rule is we can see most facets of a relationship happen within the first 10 dates.

If he doesn't even make it past the second or third date, you're not going to even hit my 10 date rule, but you'll learn what you need to know about the guy usually within the first 10 dates.

Now I'm not saying wait 10 dates to have sex, you can have sex whenever you want, okay, but recognize that guys who are serious are looking for the long term, and they want to take their time. And if you reach the 10 date point, chances are it's going to turn into a relationship.

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