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How to Recognize a Real Zombie vs. Beer Goggles Zombie

Learn how to recognize a real zombie in this Howcast video about how to survive a zombie attack.

Transcript

What are beer goggle zombies? Beer goggle zombies are creatures that aren't zombies, but if you were really drunk and not able to put together a logical train of thought, you might mistake them as zombies.

For instance, Frankenstein is not a zombie. Occasionally, people will suggest that there's a debate whether or not Frankenstein's a zombie. Frankenstein is not a zombie. If we look at our definition of the modern zombie, we can see Frankenstein is not relentlessly aggressive; he's just misunderstood. He wants to make friends. Nobody likes him, he's ugly. He's not a reanimated human corpse because he's made from a collection of body parts. Lastly, he is biologically-based, but he's not caused by an infection. You don't get attacked by Frankenstein and turn into Frankenstein.

Other beer goggle zombies, Jesus. Jesus is not a zombie. Jesus was not reanimated, he was resurrected; big difference. He also didn't go around trying to eat people when he came back. Mummies are not zombies because mummies are not biologically-based, they're normally based on some kind of curse, and they're not relentlessly aggressive. Mummies just want their stuff back. If you leave their tomb or give them back the gem you stole, they go back to sleep.

Anytime you're looking at a creature and trying to judge whether or not it's a zombie, it's easy to look at the characteristics of that creature and figure out whether or not it fits in the mold of a zombie or not. If it's a demon, if it's a mummy, if it's got a different name, chances are it's not a zombie.

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