Simon: Hey, guys. I can see you need another drink, but can you just give me a minute? I've got to work this thing out for my kid. It's a science project they've got at school or something. Give me like two seconds. I promise.
Simon: That's got to do that. Yeah, and then I have to do that. Yeah, that's good.
Peter: What are you doing?
Simon: Here's the deal. It's a science project and they wanted the kid to work out. Fred is his name, and they wanted to work out whether the weight of the ink on one side of the match would affect the 50/50 throw of the match. Isn't that cool?
Peter: It doesn't seem like it would make a big difference.
Simon: It wouldn't, I don't think. But I was doing this just in the bar down the road and there was a guy in the bar who bet me. There's always guys in the bars that will bet you. There's a guy in the bar that bet me that he could throw the match in the air and make it land on its edge.
Peter: On its side? Wow.
Simon: Just like that.
Peter: Can't be done.
Simon: I didn't think so.
Peter: Can't be done.
Simon: He showed me the technique and I've been practicing it now for about two hours. I can do it like four and a half a lot out of more now. But you don't know how to do it.
Peter: No, it doesn't seem like you could do it.
Simon: Make it land on its edge. Jillian?
Simon: I'm going to bet you a drink. I don't normally do this to ladies. I would never take advantage of a lady, but he's going to pay for it, so it's okay.
Jillian: All right, that's sweet.
Simon: That I can fling this match in the air and I can make it land dead on its edge. You get both sides of the match. So if it lands that side up or on that side up, I'll buy you drinks all night.
Jillian: All night?
Simon: If it lands on its edge, you buy me a drink. How's that?
Peter: That sounds good to me. I mean, the chances of it landing on its side...
Jillian: I wouldn't mind having drinks all night.
Simon: See? That was close.
Peter: I get a drink.
Simon: No, no, that wasn't the bet. That wasn't when I said go.
Peter: Test round.
Simon: Just a test run, just to see if I've still got it and I've still got that mojo going. All right, my young friend. Are you ready?
Peter: I'm ready.
Simon: Because you're going to lose a drink.
Peter: I think I'm going to get a drink.
Simon: You may well lose your lady.
Peter: No, I won't lose my lady. We're going to be drinking all night. Hey, hands off, buddy.
Simon: Steady, town folk. Here we go, my friend. That match will land dead on its edge.
Peter: All right. Let's see it.
Simon: You see a little knowledge is a very dangerous thing. You pick up; you'll do this on all your friends tomorrow; you pick up the match and you bend it. Now when I throw the match out on the bar the only way the match can land is on its edge. That's a little beer from you to me I think, my friend.
Jillian: Another drink.
Simon: You know what? I'll meet you outside.
Peter: Oh, man. No, no, no.
Simon: You see how easy it is to take money off people in the bar, people? And that, my friends, is the great match toss. Just cost Peter a drink, and probably his woman.