Simon: Hey, guys. How are you doing?
Simon: As you may know, I am a bit of a scoundrel of the bar. But I like to help people out and I can see you've got a full beer, but your young lady here is running out. Do you want to do a little bet to see if you can win her a beer?
Simon: Excellent. This is a very, very simple bet. You see, I'm going to bet you that when I say go, for the next minute you won't be able to do everything I do. Now don't panic, I don't have any strange joints on me or anything. I'm not going to do one of those weird twisty things. I'm not going to strip off naked. Goodness me, that would frighten everybody in the bar here.
Peter: Yes, it would.
Simon: It's something anybody, any normal person, even you should be able to do.
Peter: All right.
Simon: And that's all you have to do for a drink. If I win, you buy your lady a drink and you buy me a drink. If you win, I'll buy you drinks all night long. How's that?
Peter: All night long? I love it.
Simon: And you look like you can drink my friend, and I like that in a bar.
Peter: I can.
Simon: I'm going to take a little deck of playing cards here.
Simon: I'm going to give you one and me one. All you have to do is do exactly what I do when I say go for the next minute. But it's important Jillian, that he does exactly what I do.
Peter: Exactly what you do.
Simon: Be careful. Kick him, if maybe he's messing up.
Simon: And I think he'd probably like that.
Peter: Hey, why not?
Simon: You look like you've been beaten up a few times by your young lady there, my friend. Here we go. Are you ready?
Peter: I'm ready.
Simon: The time starts now. He's good. He's good. It's nothing to do with the cards.
Simon: It's just a distraction.
Peter: I just like drinking too much.
Simon: Yeah, well. You see you should have held it back. Good tip for you. If you do this on a friend, a great tip. Do this on somebody who knows the bet. Now when you pick up the drink and you hold it back, only spit back half the beer because they'll pick up their glass and they'll go and do what you did. And that's when you go doodily-doodily-doo with the card and they're thinking, "What the heck's going on?" And then you do a second spit. That's how you take a guy who already knows the bet. You see my friends, a little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing.