Simon: You look stronger than him.
Peter: She can be.
Simon: Do you think you've got the muscles for a little strength trick?
Jillian: Oh, yeah.
Simon: Okay,this is great. Got a little cocktail napkin here.
Simon: Don't worry. It doesn't feel pain.
Simon: I'm going to do a little rip here. Rippy, rippy, rippy, rippy, rippy. Just a little bit, because I don't think you're as strong as you think you are. So I'm going to try to make as easy as possible for you.
Simon: And I'm going to do this on this side. It's fascinating, isn't it, Peter? I can see you're just absolutely enthralled already.
Peter: Oh yeah, can't wait to see what happens.
Simon: Leaving just the smidgiest little bit on each side.
Simon: And Jillian, here's the deal. Very simple bet that's going to cost your boy another drink.
Peter: All right.
Jillian: Thanks, babe.
Simon: That's why you go out with him. He's not good looking, but he's rich.
Peter: How can you say no to her?
Simon: I could never say no to her. Unless there's money involved. Here's what we have to do, my darling. Hold one side in one hand.
Simon: One side in the other hand. Two sniggly little diamond bits of tissue left and all you have to do when I say go is rip it into three pieces.
Simon: Do you think you can do it?
Jillian: I think so. Pretty confident.
Peter: She can do it.
Simon: You go, girl. Here we go. Just two little folds.
Simon: And that center piece will drop down and if you can't do it. . .
Peter: You get the money.
Simon: You're out a couple of bucks. This is just a teaser bet. I'll only charge you a couple of bucks for this one and then we might up it a bit, by a lot. Ready?
Simon: Go. Can't be done.
Simon: Nobody in the history of this planet could achieve that, because you can't get an even pull. However, you're down two bucks, right?
Simon: Yeah. However, I think that I could bet you that I can do it, but I'm going to want more than two bucks.
Peter: Of course, here we go.
Simon: I'm going to want twenty bucks.
Peter: Twenty bucks, for ripping paper?
Simon: You just saw your beautiful lady fail, and I hate to say it, miserably on doing it. I've already told you it's impossible. I'll show you two ways to do it. There you go, little snaggles of paper. Just as before, I'll hold them just like this and I'll rip it into three pieces. You can have a few more go's, if you like, but you're not going to do it.
Peter: All right, let's see you do it.
Simon: Twenty bucks, to see how it's done.
Jillian: All right. You're on.
Simon: You're going to hate me.
Simon: You see, I hold onto the two end pieces with my fingers and then I grab with my mouth.
Simon: And that's the only way you can rip it--those napkins are tasty--into three pieces.